Hey, this killing myself without much sleep or pause, is proving again to be either great for my poetic drivel or really messing with my clarity right now.  Because I think I just came up with another cool Trippism. Please tell this sleep-starved fool if he’s thinking like a crack baby with this one:

“To dare to believe in something hard to believe in, is more noble and rewarding than disbelieving in anything that’s so easy not to believe in.”

So, if anyone is keeping up with me, they’ll know I’ve been a-miss lately.

All I can say for now is, I’m still writing/producing my own material, but have taken on a production for a client Christine Marie.

I’m writing/producing/directing her first music video.

We’ve wrapped day one and have several scenes/locations to film still, with completion by the end of the month.

I’ll post when we get there.

:>)

I found myself thinking of someone tonight. A person who’s impression is still firm in the corners of my memories, no matter how far their ship has sailed from my shore.

And as the pull of my desire to find them drifting in a wonderful calm sea, took me close enough to put a message in a bottle for them to read, I found myself speaking the perfect words – from which I’ve learned from my experience – to be Failure’s seed:

“The silent mistress called Fear, never sleeps in the house of those who are too stubborn to rise.

She holds all who tempt her with an open hand.

And once she places her grip firmly, the numbness of such fools finger’s become sore to the bone, as she crushes them without care for the faith they left behind.”

I’ve not blogged anything for a few days and this is why…

For those few that have joined my Facebook in the past week (mostly family and friends), what you’ve seen was not what I was ready to push to market yet. I had some major tweaks to do here and there. But I wanted to share with family, so I uploaded some stuff ahead of time.

I’ve just spent this week remixing and perfecting things to the best levels I can with my current studio equipment.

And for the past 2 days, without any sleep at all, I pushed myself to the edge, editing the Red Blooded American video, as I wanted to add in some new elements to make it quicker between takes and overall “better”.

For the newest version with an incredibly clear and reworked mix, watch video here:
CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO

Newest Update: I’ve officially launched Red Blooded American on Youtube and will be heavily promoting it to radio and other online sources.

It’s been a very long ride, but I have faith in what I’m doing.

And I will continue to push this as far as I can, with more video coming in the next two days showing some back story and behind the scenes footage of some of these things I’ve been doing.

Both of my current songs are on my site for download:
www.RockStarTripp.com (music page)

:>)

Well, well.

Stupid boy here, decided to put out something he wasn’t too sure about. And it haunted me all night.

After waking up, I didn’t want to hear the mix I decided to upload, because I was certain my ears would realize I was wrong about how good it was.

Instead, I set about trying to fix the vocals I was going to put up with. And the more I messed with them, the worse they got.

About 2 hours later, I decided, instead of masking the bad parts and pushing the vox back to hide the bitter parts I didn’t like, I was going to just record them over.

Not wanting to play games with hiss and crackle, I went straight into my sound card with my tube/mic pre am.

Sound was good.

I tried to nail the notes, but wasn’t liking them. This is really the most powerful part of the song; the very thing I heard in my head when I came up with it.

But when I originally recorded those 2 chorus vox, it was all I could do to hit such notes with the raspiness I wanted in them and with the required breathing to pelt them out. I can sing quite high, but this is really difficult.

After hating the texture I was getting, I decided, maybe I should do a blend of false-etto and raspy.

Ah ha!

This allowed me to get that power in the song without killin myself in the process. I had full control.

And in about 1 hour I not only had the 2 freshly done tracks, but I added a 2 more that had a bit more edge. And I nailed them all!!! Oh, I love when I do that. It sounds to on point.

But, what would a day be without me messin something else up??

OK. So I put in the time to now mix in the 4 new vocals. And while soloing them in the mix with the other background vocals, I was in HEAVEN. Oh, the joy of finally hearing the song the way I knew it should have always been.

And I’d not heard it with all the other parts of the song, just 5 other vocals. [Yeah, there's 9 vocal tracks in the chorus, alone.]

And I couldn’t hear it with the full song because my software can’t play them all at once, hence the ongoing issues with too many plugins taxing the CPU and RAM.

But I didn’t need to hear them with the rest of the music. I could hear it in my head, as all the vocals came together really tight and punchy.

About that guy that always finds a way to mess things up…

Well, I set about finalizing the new vocals. And while at it, made all kinds of new adjustments to the song. I just felt I could make it even better than I’d been cool with last night.

Finally, I rendered to a full playable file. Put it through my mastering phase and then listened to it.

THERE IT WAS! The power! The punch! The meat and Mickey Dees fries of the whole song. WOW!

[This was when I decided to quit messing with the bad vocals and start over. I was so sick of the crap, I just grabbed my mic and brought the whole thing into my mixing box/pit and recorded them here:]

But wait. Something is not right. I can hear something wrong with the overall mix. The arpeggio strings is lost in the mix. I can’t hear it play certain notes at points it showed clear last night.

And where did my remixing of my big guitar sound go?

What happened to my ears since last night????

STUPIDO! Just had to jam with the headphones on for 2 hours before going to bed. Mucked up my clarity! That had to be it. What I thought was good enough to finalize and put online was muddy water!

So I called my buddy and asked if he’d listen to the new mix in his car and his home theater.

Told him I’d send it in 15 minutes.

He calls about 25 later and wants to know what’s up; no song for him, yet.

While making an MP3 for him, I played it back to make sure it rendered without glitches. And about 10 seconds into checking the MP3, something caught my attention:

“What happened to my Hi Hat in the intro???!!!”

What? How could this be? I took it out, then didn’t like the idea I had in place and so I put it back.

But, if I opened the last mixing file I did before going to bed last night, why wasn’t the Hi Hat in the mix??

OH NO! I didn’t!!

As I was figuring this out is when he called me.

And while looking through all my files, I discovered I’d saved 2 of them with the same name.

See, with all the crashes, I save backups every 5-10 minutes. And about every 15, I save a new file with a time stamp, like FileName – 2 45PM – Changed Gtrs.veg

I was sure I opened the last file worked on to add in the new vocals.

But as I looked at the actually time on each of the two files, dread smacked me straight in the face, as I realized, I opened a file that I’d worked on an hour before I was done.

In other words, I opened a file that was before several new changes to the mix.

In more other words: I AM IDIOT, SEE ME ON THE FLOOR!!

No! NO! NOOO!

This is why the guitars didn’t sound as big. This is why the keys disapeared in the mix and a host of other things that I KNEW was wrong with this mix all day long!

I told my buddy I had to go, because the reality of it was – like it or not, I have to redo everything I spent all morning on – using the final file, not the 2nd to last one I’d so foolishly used.

I hated the thought of what it would take to dig through 70 plus tracks, remember every last detail of what I changed this morning, besides adding the new vocals – which would have to be remixed and all plugins added and readjusted exactly as before.

But as with all my life, who’s going to do this if I don’t? Do I ever quit!? NEVER.

So I toughed it out for another 3 or so hours.

And in the process, THANKFUL I did screw up, I also decided to tweak some things again. Had I not grabbed the wrong file to restart my day, I’d have never thought to make these changes.

Once I was done, I realized I left out something that got cut. I fixed it, re rendered a final mix, Mastered it and OH, HOW HAPPY AM I!

Not only did I get what started in my head out and into the song the way it was meant to be with that chorus having lots of big power with all those vocals, but I really made the rest of it float and put the bam in the boom.

Last night, when uploading what I slacked on, I knew I could change it many more times. But I let the pressure of time being against me lower my normal results.

When I redid the vocals and had to redo everything I screwed up in the wrong file, once done I was certain: this is as good as it can get outside of a big studio for me.

And I’m elated beyond words. I wanted this song to make you feel like you were floating on air while you dance away in your own little world. And I got more wings out of it than I thought possible.

Mistakes are the only real way to make improvements in life. And although I hate the first sting of making big ones, I love the way I turn them into gold.

Never doubt your ability to one-up yourself!

= Make Dreams Happen =

I should be in bed. It’s 4:12AM.

Ah, but I was so happy with my mix, I kept tweaking it all night long/morning. And I tweaked and I tweaked. And now I’m over the moon.

Only thing that sucks is, until the video is done, the only way to hear it right now is through my Myspace page. And Myspace compresses uploads, so they do not sound even as good as an MP3.

However, I will have it on my site sometime Sunday. I need sleep first.

For now, you can check it out below the lyrics (in MP3 player). Just make sure you crank it on good speakers and have on your dancing socks or shoes. ;>)

This song is simply about “taking that ride to chase a dream”…

DO YOU WANNA RIDE

Intro

Do you wanna, do you wanna, do you wanna get down…

Verse 1

Every day, there’s negativity
Comin my way, but they’ll never get the best of me

Yeah, I’ve been down
Still, I get up again

Not gonna lose
Cuz I know for sure I’m gonna win

Pre Chorus

Come with me, take a ride
Spread your wings, together we can fly

All the way, soaring high
There’s nothing stopping us, so get in!

Chorus

Do you wanna ride…
Do you wanna get down
Do you wanna ride

Verse 2

What you get is never what you see
You gotta pay, because nothing good is ever free

Tow the line and never let it go
Stake your claim, cuz it’s time to let your passion flow

[ Go to Prechorus ]

Pic below…

Oh, man!!

Could the fight have been any more drag-down than what I just put my crazy self through?

I’m sure it could be, but this was a mental challenge from Hell n Back and I am certain I’m in a dream, having come through the other side when I thought for sure I was going to suck it up! And I mean make it suck!

After 3 days of remixing and remixing; chasing where the mud was; fighting to get the bass and kick to play like good little instruments should; cursing B. Gates and this software; giving in to a final mix I knew I’d never be proud of…

I finally pulled through. And I’m still wondering how it happened. Because I swear just a minute ago I was still getting nowhere but knee deep in more mud.

I won’t go into detail. Let’s just say I was at the point of complete dis-spare too many times. I was lower than earth worms could dig. I was just beating myself up over and over.

But somehow, once again, my faith and belief in my abilities have blessed me.

Now, I cannot claim this is a super-studio mix. I don’t have a pro studio. But at the end of the day today, it would be very hard for a novice to know it was done right here between two sleeping bags, pillows behind my monitors (speakers and computer screen), all blankets in the house under the sleeping bags, both huge Cali King comforters – all hung over 3 massive photography boom light stands – creating my little mixing box.

Oh the joy when I figured out how to tweak the bass and kick to be as one (best I could in my environment). I just love this plugin that emulates an old pultec tube EQ rack.

I slapped that puppy all over those mud-makers!

I was going to be content if I could just make out most of the instruments. And the goal from day one was to make this song a huge club bumper with loads of bass end.

But I’ve created a giant sub-woofer hog now. Hopefully it goes well with a nice plate of other-peoples-speakers like it does with mine. It just thumps!

And when the guitars kick in, holy Motley Crueness!

I got this puppy down from over 80 tracks to about 70. What a mess. You want to play tricks on your mind, don’t take acid or shrooms, try to mix 70 tracks and not lose everything to a pile of blurrr.

Once again, I’m not the God of mixing, but to pull this off in my office is amazing for me. It had more tracks than Red Blooded American, but even though it was harder to mix, the blends of all those instruments makes it smoke RBA in the overall stereo spectrum.

And I’m not knocking RBA. It’s mine and it was meant to be just a few guitars, bass and drums.

I seriously cannot explain what I just went through the past 3 days. Non-stop fighting with myself not to lose control of my senses. The pressure to do a good job under my time constraints was one thing, but the constant abuse my ears (with bad tinnitus), really doesn’t sit well with me.

So many times I thought, “this is the final one – just another adjustment to 3 more items” – but then I kept tweaking. And I tweaked that mother til I slapped it silly with more than I could have imagined.

I can’t even fathom how it would sound in a big room with an SSL console and a few toys like an old Fairchild at hand.

Oh, man! I’m so pumped. So frikin blown away.

Hmmmm, maybe I shouldn’t get everyone’s hopes up, they might not like it as much as I do.

But it’s about fighting yourself and something that most people would claim is impossible – and winning!

I’ve done this war with myself many times in my life over many things. And I get more stubborn each time I win.

And just for some info, I might have spent 3 days remixing this song, after adding more new vocals. But I spent over a week on the foundation of it back when I started it 3 months ago.

And that’s just mixing. I put in over 2 weeks in recording alone.

So I’ve put in a huge fight.

I’m spent. But I think I’ll slap on those cans again and rock out til I fall flat on my face.

This song is called “Do You Wanna Ride”, which is about taking that journey to chase dreams. I wanted to make it both catchy but a very easy-to-sing-along song that hopefully will inspire other people to chase their dreams.

And my goal sonically was to create a song that made you feel like you were going on a ride, and as the lyrics say “flyin high” – it makes me feel like I’m going on an awesome ride.

I just hope it moves people as it moves me.

I honestly have no idea where this song came from or how it ended up so big. I can’t tell you where each instrumentation idea came from or how it went from a thought in my head when the words “do you wanna ride” just popped in one day – to this mix of sooo many elements.

I just know, I sit back as someone else looking at it, other than the creator.

It might not be a hit, but it represents so much struggle for me. And not in the story behind the lyrics as much as all I’ve had to learn and master to make this song.

I don’t have the luxury of a keyboard with a built-in sequencer or software sequencer (a device that aligns tracks together perfectly and lets you play things in parts and join them together into one long song).

I had to play everything by hand, even the stuff on the drum machine, as it wouldn’t let me send individual tracks out, one at a time.

ok, enough rambling. I’m sure this blog is a mile long. But I’m so happy. It’s my win, no matter how it goes over with other people. To be so in a fight with yourself like I just went through and have been going through on all fronts – makes me feel blessed I’m not in a padded room. It’s that intense.

I’ll upload the song to my Myspace after I redo it. I created a whole page and then realized it was another old account.

I’ll link in here when it’s up for anyone that possibly reads my babble fest material. ;>)

This was at the end of the day; satisfied (for the moment). I put my camera on a lightstand, so it’s up near the ceiling, which is why it cut me in half. No one to shoot the shot for me…

The mixing pit, that was literally the pits for a long time!

Well, I thought I was done mixing at 10. And technically I was.

But I just couldn’t stay away.

I let my ears relax a while, while doing other things. But then I heard a song on Youtube and wondered how my mix would stand up to it.

So, I pulled it back up.

But instead of messing with it, I just listened over and over and made notes on paper of what I was going to focus on Saturday. And I think I might be able to fix the vocals without the dread and fuss of recording with crackle and hiss.

With the time I let my ears relax, I noticed that the mastering EQ I’d done really added lots of good air and punch into the song.

And after finishing several notes, I found myself standing up, guitar in hand and rocking out all night til 2 AM.

I always do this, promising myself that I’ll only listen one more time, but then find myself still breaking that promise an hour later.

But rather than just jam out, I was scripting the next video. You gotta practice those moves so you look cool, right? hehe

By being in the moment, with guitar in hand, I was able to see most of the video; where I’d record, how, who would be doing what (that is, if my awesome girl Jacklyn has better luck getting committed girls to join in).

Now it’s on to the changes from my notes. Hopefully my ears will hear things just right when I’m done and I can feel it good enough to release.

Then it’s on to pushing more of those BIG buttons. But only after I finish filming and editing the rest of the 4 part back story.

Yesterday was very warm, probably near 80. Today the sun is shinning on my face, the skies are Carolina blue.

And I’m getting more and more power from it.

I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, quite badly. I live my life by the sun. But that’s another story for another rambling blog.

It’s 10PM!

And I’m frikin done messing with this mix. I’ve been at it since this morning and now my ears are so burned out, I can’t tell what sounds good and what’s not.

This is part of the process and I have never liked that ears get tired.

You get this flow going and you don’t want to stop. But if you don’t take a good long break, you start to over-compensate for what the ears think it “hears”.

And then you end up with everything being pushed so far into the highs, it’s bleeding territory.

What drives me nuts is mixing in a space all day and thinking, “this is really starting to rock”. Then later, after mixdown, pulling in the mastering phase and, after bringing up a 2 track EQ, realizing your “awesome mix” is muddy.

Or at least, that’s how it sounds to me now, when using reference material to compare it to.

Oh the joy. 74 tracks is what I got this down to, from 80 plus.

I must clear my ears and not fret about the mud I think I hear.

Tomorrow I have to rerecord some vocals, as they SUCK in the mix. Alone they are in key, but they have some harmonics that are screwing up the texture of the chorus and it’s not making me very happy.

And that’s because these are the hardest parts to sing. VERY HIGH and VERY RASPY.

Actually, I’m so intent to do this now, I know I can nail it. The only thing I’m not happy about is finding out I still have hiss, spit and crackle issues with the recording gear.

I’m hoping I am right about people turning on devices around me at certain parts of the day -to be the cause. Maybe if that is the case, I’ll get lucky tomorrow and find nothing but clear signal while I do the vocals.

Other than the ears playing tricks on me at this point, being burned out – if I can get those redone vocals in without noise, and RIGHT – I am going to be happy.

But honestly, 74 TRACKS!!!!!!!! If I can make this sound anything like crisp CD material, I’ll be happy. Because in reality, even attempting this outside of an acoustically treated studio is NUTS.

Ok, so I’m nuts.

About 18 vocal tracks, 12 string/orchestral related tracks, 16 guitar tracks, yada, yada, blurrrrrrrr. Red Blooded American was a breeze!!! And it’s still nowhere near what it could be.

I just pray for clarity and no mud.

I’m not sure how much I have left in me. I’m about to the middle of this entire candle.

I won’t say what it was, but I just pushed a very BIG button.

It took more than just a click of my finger.

Now we wait and see what happens.